You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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