just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Found the puke drawer
How external is "for external use only"?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When are your genitals available?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize