hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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