It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
