shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
