I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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