Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
