Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
