is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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