too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
