i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
