Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
