whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
