Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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