He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
