Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
