Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
