so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
