i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
