Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
