His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
