the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
high people should be assigned attendants
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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