How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
