Your tits are I can't wait for
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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