Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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