Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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