Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I met the friendliest cop last night
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
