Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize