Your dad touched me again.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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