You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
