i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
