it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
