Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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