dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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