And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bring me that man meat
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize