Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize