Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
