Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
