What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
