Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have fence marks all over my body
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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