You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
