I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
