Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
