I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
