yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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