True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
