you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
