Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Pooping to opera.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
