I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
