I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
