In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
