it hurts more in the daytime
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
His nipple licking is glorious
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