Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
