Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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