Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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