Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
