Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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