found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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