It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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