I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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