If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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